Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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