we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
