Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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