Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
