Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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