I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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