i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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