Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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