I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
