WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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