i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
