Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize