Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Found the puke drawer
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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