so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
