Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
