Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
