I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
