Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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