Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
