I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Even my vagina gasped.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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