He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
