these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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