it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
