Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
