uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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