You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
