Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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