my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
