she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
