I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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