All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
