is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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