This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
