I want to have your abortion
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
