come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
