I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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