this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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