gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
