Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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