I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize