Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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