Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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