I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize