glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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