So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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