does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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