Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
