I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
