i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
