Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
