Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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