I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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