I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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