One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
