I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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