in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
