Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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