So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
