took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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