just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
