Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
