You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
