so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
