Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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