I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
